The Dream of the Ridiculous Man - Part Three
Oh, they all laugh at me now; and say it was just a dream. A dream was it? Is that what it was, just a dream? It makes no difference dream or not... to me... because to me.. it revealed the truth. Oh, my dream revealed to me a different reality, a new life, glorious, and perfect.
In my dream I picked up the gun and pointed it straight at my heart. My heart, not my head, as I had intended to do. I had planned to shot myself in my right temple, but strangely, I pointed it at my heart.
I waited one moment... two... suddenly the room began to sway. Quickly I pulled the trigger and everything went out; then, total blackness all around me.
I was lying on something hard. I was flat on my back, stretched out. I was moving, being jolted. I was being carried. Everywhere people where walking, talking; and I was stuck in my coffin with the lid shut fast.
Suddenly it struck me. I was dead, quiet dead; there was no doubt about that, and they were piling soil into my grave.
Everyone had left and I was alone... totally alone.
I don't know how long I lay there, an hour perhaps, a day, maybe several days. Suddenly, a drop of water, seeping through the lid of the coffin, dropped onto my left eye-lid. One minute later another drop, another minute, another drop, and so on, and so on. Regular drops at timed intervals.
It made me furious; indignation welled up inside me, and I screamed out to Him, the one who I assumed was responsible for my fate: "Whoever you are, and if you are, and if there is some great mind behind this then reveal your plan! But if you are punishing me because of my stupid little suicide, then let me tell you that no torture you can devise will compare with the contempt I shall feel for you; even though you may have suffered billions of years of silent martyrdom."
I made my position clear. Then again I kept quiet.
The deep silence lasted nearly a minute, and another drop fell, but, somehow, I knew that from now on everything would change; and that was when my tomb was ripped open. I was lifted out of my grave by some strange being.
Suddenly, I could see! I could see!
He swept me up onto his shoulders. I felt dazed, angry, because I didn't believe in an after-life, but here my believes were being confounded.
With great wings we flew up into the sky, into deep darkness. I've never, never, seen such darkness......
Although, of course, this journey had a purpose. It was for my benefit entirely. That's what made me so afraid, because something told me that I could not escape the pain that lay ahead of me, nor the love that carried me towards it.
Suddenly, I was overcome by such a familiar feeling, so stirring. I saw our sun. Oh, I knew it couldn't be our sun, but my whole being cried out that it was a sun exactly like ours, a twin, a duplicate. I was filled with longing, with extasy, because if this was a sun like ours, then where was the earth?
My companion pointed to a star twinkling in the darkness, lonely, beautiful. Twinkling in the deep darkness, like an emerald.
We were heading straight towards it. . .